When the writers of Portal mentioned that Glados was somewhat inspired by the archetype of “jealous ex-girlfriend” in the second game, I thought it was cute, but it couldn’t possibly….
“Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.”
“Waddle over to the elevator and we’ll continue the testing.”
“Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I’m sorry. You didn’t react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That’s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.”
“Hmm. This Plate must not be calibrated to someone of your… generous… ness. I’ll add a few zeros to the maximum weight. You look great, by the way. Very healthy.”
“Initiating surprise in three… two… one. … I made it all up. Surprise.”
“I was getting SO lonely down here. It’s good to finally hear someone else’s voice. I’m kidding, of course. God, I hate you.”
“If I’d known you’d let yourself get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.”
SHE’S JUST LIKE MY EX.
Because I need something to keep myself busy, and I can’t concentrate on actual work right now.
Intelligent: I have my moments of brilliant stupidity, but I did very well in school. From elementary school to college, I was always on the high honor roll. I’ve never had my IQ officially tested, though. I’m surprisingly horrible with numbers, but I earned high marks with certain teachers. It’s possible that I was just taught math in a way that didn’t jive with how my brain works.
Psychopath: We’ve all dreamed about burning down villages and conquering Europe, right? I don’t think I have any legitimate mental problems. Just dreams of being Lady-Alexander.
No feelings: I have dangerously sensitive feelings. I just don’t — can’t — express them. I keep my emotions under lock and key. And then bury them in the backyard. And then cover them in a thick layer of reinforced concrete.
Atheist: My spiritual beliefs are fairly complicated, but I wouldn’t call myself a strict atheist. My beliefs are definitely rooted in science and scientific principles, however.
Not romantic: I’m romantic, just in unconventional ways. The sentimental horseshit you see in modern chick-flick romances is repulsive. Oddly enough, romance movies made back in the 40s are much more appealing, because they’re all about verbal sparring and sassy banter.
Like most INTJs, I can see straight through someone’s bull. I break down complex messages into one-sentence declarations. When I hear a really sweet, sappy love song, I always translate the singer’s lyrics down into “I want to bang you!” Because that’s usually the point when you get through all the flowery nonsense. I don’t trust anyone who makes grandiose shows of affection, especially on the first couple dates, because it’s all really superficial and doesn’t last long.
I’m only really attracted to intelligence, and I like girls who aren’t afraid call me out when I’m being an idiot. I like banter. I like wit. I prefer my mates to be worthy adversaries who can hold their own. I don’t want to feel like I’m babysitting someone, or that someone’s trying to babysit me, and I sure as hell don’t like sap.
I like Pride and Prejudice, but I identify with Darcy rather than Lizzie.
Arrogant: Yes, probably, but only when it comes to my strong suits. I don’t pretend to be good at things I legitimately suck at.
Brutal and direct: Direct, yes. Brutal, hopefully not.
Can’t accept opinions: I happily accept other opinions, provided they make sense and can be backed up with hard facts.
Manipulate people all the time: No, I prefer being up front and honest with people. If I had to manipulate others, I have the capacity to do so. I could only see myself doing that in some kind of intense competition.
Robots in reality: One of my nicknames is Bot. Side effect of being so direct, logical, and (seemingly) unaffected. It’s an affectionate name, though. Often gets changed to Sexbot, Fembot, Cuddletron, and Snuggletron. Depending on who you ask.
Antisocial: It’s not so much that I’m antisocial or shy. It’s just that I don’t enjoy going out. Most gatherings are at the local bar, and people usually talk about random things that I’m not legitimately interested in. I like going to museums and whatnot, though.
If I’m in distress, though, I absolutely need solitude to recover. I’ve had a crappy month, for example, so I’ve barely left my house apart from going to work and back.
Can’t say “I love you”: Very true. I grew up in a household where this phrase was almost never said, so it carries a ton of weight. I’m terrified to say it, and physically have trouble spitting it out. I think it’s because I’m afraid the other person won’t reciprocate. Things always change when you say this to someone.
Want to be alone 24/7: Only if I’m in a really bad mood. Otherwise, I have no trouble interacting with other people. Don’t like being the center of attention. I’m a natural observer.
Can’t smile: Again, only if I’m in a bad mood or uncomfortable. Otherwise, I laugh and smile pretty freely. I’m already starting to get laugh lines! I’m fortunate enough to spend my time with quick-witted people, though, so that’s probably why.
Don’t/can’t care about others: Not true. Just have difficulty expressing it. I usually show affection from a distance or discretely, like paying for someone’s lunch or quietly finishing a project for them.
Megalomaniacs by their very nature: ….Maybe. And not sorry at all. I’d be an awesome Empress.
Don’t cry: Correction. Don’t cry in public. These things happen behind closed doors where nobody can see me at my weakest.
Cannot/will not fight: Not true at all! I usually avoid confrontation if possible, but have no trouble arguing or physically fighting if things take a massive turn for the worse. Since when do INTJs not fight? We love to debate.
Self-centered: Everyone’s self-centered. I’d like to think that I give adequate attention to the people around me.
No regret/remorse: Untrue. I feel bad if I make someone upset. …Unless they were being great big douchebags before I tore into them. They were asking for it.
Appear to be on drugs: You’d have to ask someone else. I do think I have a pretty zoned-out look on my face when I’m contemplating something.
I’ll avoid talking about the ‘big spoiler’ for Into Darkness, if it’s even true, so this is spoiler free. In fact, it’s mostly about the 2009 film and the new universe in general.
There are a lot of things about the new movie(s) that draw understandable criticism. But, as with all fandoms, some of the complaints flying around by certain detractors are, well… illogical.
Let’s go over some of them, shall we?
Anonymous asked: you are so good. SO FREAKIN GOOD.
Summary: The longer Korra lives in Republic City, the more isolated she feels. She begins to seriously question her relationship with Asami, and slowly begins to realize how impractical it really is.
This fic-package meets the following requirements:
- Genre: Aangst (aha get it)
- Angst does not stem from anyone being cheated on
- Angst does not stem from anyone being a dirty little secret
- Angst does not stem from anyone dying
This fic-package also includes:
- Themes of wealth inequality
- Themes of isolation and depression
- Themes of urban life vs. rural life
- Questioning if the Avatar is ultimately bad for humanity
- Subtle racism
- Pretentious city hipsters
- Asami actually having friends outside the Krew
- Socialist!Korra vs. Libertarian!Asami
- Tonraq bear hugs
- Tonraq-Korra father-daughter bonding
hey korrasami fandom how many souls must i sacrifice for you to give me decent angst that doesn’t revolve around korra and/or asami cheating either with each other or on each other
Be careful what you ask for. <3
Warnings: The occasional swear word
Characters: Nanshe, Kalisha
Summary: In just a few hours, Nanshe will be enlisting in the local military. She’d have no trouble with actual combat, but here? Too peaceful. Military life is nothing more than endless patrols and the occasional livestock rescue operation. Of course, backing out of enlistment would mean breaking a promise to her more dutiful girlfriend — a girlfriend who is also pressuring her to get serious. It’s all too much, too fast. She’s going to snap.
“No. If you’ve been thinking about this since graduation, then why didn’t you say anything? You’ve been leading me on this entire time – acting like you wanted to settle down.” She leaned in, face just inches away from Nanshe’s. “Are you capable of understanding just how deeply that can hurt someone?”
“That was not my intention.” She ducked under Kalisha’s arm and moved through the doorway, stepping into the hall. “You’ll have to forgive my childish tantrum.”
[direct tie-in to the novel I’ve been working on; actually a rewritten version of some scenes that were cut from the original manuscript.]
That ‘bombshell’ line is written in an intentionally vague way, so just hold on and stop panicking. She could just as easily mean “Zuko is the only good thing that Ozai ever gave me.”
Actually, the thing that bothers me?
Ozai’s not exactly the craftiest villain in the history of fiction, so I had a headcanon that Ursa was — although a good person — a master manipulator and capable of intricate deceptions. Which is how she got away with assassinating Azulon, since that was implied in the show and was the chief reason for her disappearance.
Which would have made her and Azula incredibly similar, at least in how their brains work on a fundamental level. Because Azula was always smarter and more dangerous than Ozai. And upon learning that, Azula would be hit with a brutal reality check concerning all that imagined favoritism.
Sweet little country girl, though? Aww.
But I’ll be pleasantly surprised if Ursa’s revealed to be pulling the strings the entire time by the end of Search #3.
I also had high hopes for Mass Effect 3.
So, you know, I expect the worst at this point.
Fire Nation Royal Family.
Still less drama than most real-world royal families.
Anonymous asked: No special reason :) I have yet to be with someone and I'm always curious as to how others ladies-that-prefer-ladies may feel about less experienced individuals. I don't I believe I would care about the opinion of a guy as much (and I don't think they would care about my sexual status), but ladies make me very anxious, as we tend to be more discriminating. Thank you for answering my random, ass-o-clock in the morning question.
It always depends on the ladies, of course, though I don’t think many would have a problem with it. I’d hope your first time would be with someone you cared about, so they wouldn’t be judging — they’d just be happy being with you.
And then there are some domineering girls who’d probably get off on the idea of taming the untamed.
Just be prepared for your partner to strut around with a happy-smug look on their face like Alexander the Great after he conquered Persia, because they all totally do that — man or woman.
Anonymous asked: Would it put you off if you found out someone you were potentially interested in was a virgin (and around their mid-twenties)?
Holy random unexpected questions, Batman.
WHO ARE YOU MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
edit: Are you trying to tell me something, mysterious stranger?
But for serious, no, I wouldn’t be put off. I am probably less experienced than many people might think, purely because I wasn’t attracted to anyone in my hometown and don’t presently have a whole lot of selection in Redneckville, Middle-of-Nowhere, USA. And because I’m pretty picky and have trust issues.
Our society is somehow oversexed and undersexed at the same time. We don’t talk about it, but we place a lot of demand on people to have it at a certain age — whilst still not talking about it. You have sex when you want, with whomever you want, and on your own terms. It doesn’t matter if you’re a teen, in your twenties, or in your sixties. It’s about your comfort and desires. Not anyone else’s.
Because when you remember that Cerberus killed her daughter, and she never gets to have revenge against the actual murderer, Aria’s strangulation of Petrovsky takes on a whole new meaning.
Always let Aria kill Petrovsky.
(I don’t actually like the ME books, but still.)
“Just Keep Going”
Fandom: Mass Effect
Main Character: Aria T’Loak
Additional: Liselle, Nyreen, Shepard, Petrovsky, Aria’s bondmate.
Babies make you stupid.
The really terrifying thing about that? You’re perfectly aware of it. You just stop caring. There are little moments of insane clarity, though. You realize that you’re one of the most lethal asari commandos in the entire galaxy, but you’re sitting on top of a table trying desperately to get your stubborn-ass child to eat, and you’ve resorted to treating the spoon full of baby-goop like it’s a spaceship attempting to dock in the kid’s mouth.
Anonymous asked: Holy shit you are awesome, if we were ever friends I'd probably end up falling in love with you. I hope your book gets published and becomes a huge success!
I hope so, too — it’d be nice to remember what money looks like.
As for me being awesome, well. Considering that I was just drinking water out of a measuring cup for no other reason than I was too lazy to get an actual glass, I think it’s safe to say that my internet-charm is significantly more potent than my irl-charm.